Dont know what you're talking about? Just make up a buzzword!

Blah Blah Blah, clearly indicative of a Kingpin attack, blah blah blah.

Have you been following the news regarding voting machines being hacked to manipulate the 2004 Ohio elections? Did you catch the brand new sneaky unheard-of totally-0day w00t attack they used? Its called a "kingpin" attack; it works by inserting a computer to intercept and modify traffic between other systems. This is not to be confused with the known-about, popular, common, simple Man-In-The-Middle attack. Nope. This one is completely different. The only similarities it shares with a MITM is EVERY-FUCKING-THING ABOUT IT.

Why am I so upset? Consider this scenario:

person> ohai drraid. how are you?
drraid> hey! good. you?
person> gr8, what do you think about kingpin attacks?
drraid> never heard of it?
person> you haven't?
person> they used it to perform the hack on the '04 Ohio elections
person> what are you new or something?
drraid> i hate you.


Mind you, it is very possible that the government just has some super secret term for MITM, and "kingpin" is just what intelligence agencies call it when they do this. Even if this were the case, it would be in their best interest to call it by its public name for the sake of public documents - otherwise they're disclosing their code names. But come on, let's be real - someone made up this term because he flat out didn't know better, was an avid comic reader, and was fond of the idea that this guy was responsible for the voting hack.

Now, this type of stupidity can't be stopped. So instead of trying to stop stupid people from making up stupid names, I've developed an entirely new stupid name scheme (I TOO CAN BE A STUPID PERSON!):


Buffer Overflows are now called Juggernaut attacks. (I'M THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH!)

All cryptographic weakness attacks are now called Gambit attacks

Cross-site lameness attacks are now called Sailor Moon Episodes. I mean, attacks. Attacks.



Until next time, sniff some glue or something because this place is too depressing without it.